My Writing Process

Cindy (fbforbill), "Regret"10/15/2013 

Due to a widespread lack of stress filled all nighters and tearful regret, many college students are asking themselves "how can I make my life more difficult and my writing process less efficient?". As an expert in the field of sleepless nights and emotionally taxing academic routines, I'm here to explain why my writing process is the solution that counters any sort of productive activity whatsoever.

I would consider myself to be a fabulous procrastinator. I've really mastered the art of ignoring every rational fiber in my being to curate a sense of extreme panic and desperation that, while dormant, grows exponentially as the deadline draws nearer.  

What approaches do I use to achieve the exceptional inner turmoil that accompanies my procrastination? Many students have trouble mustering the ability to deny common sense and the concerns of their teachers and peers to achieve the level of procrastination that I can so easily reach. My secret is that I am able to deceive myself into believing that I am following the writing approach of a "Heavy Planner" while in reality I make nearly undetectable progress. Here are some helpful tips to maximize your vulnerability to a panic attack and minimize any productive behavior.

1. Begin by thinking about what you are going to write for a majority of the allotted deadline, spend around 60-70% of your time attempting to come up with a funny title. 
2. Make sure to write all the ideas you come up with in and unlabeled list on your iPhone notes, using the most vague terms possible . Include as little context as you can and spend a good 10-15% of your precious time trying to decipher what you wrote before realizing you're actually reading the JD Power and Associate's list of highest ranked midsize luxury sedans of 2015 instead of your list of ideas.
3. Enjoy the nascent feelings of panic that accompany the realization that you have no clue how seemingly meaningless phrases such as "cutting eyebrows off" and "shoes with ice at the bottom- eternal ice skates" relate to your topic before realizing you wrote your ideas at the bottom of "JD Powers and Associate's list of the highest ranked midsize luxury sedans of 2015" after all and that you've been reading your list of failures again.
4. Add the essay to your list of failures. 
5. Justify the fact that you're watching another Law and Order marathon by telling  yourself you need to brainstorm more ideas. You really earned this hiatus from the exhausting process of achieving nothing in such an ample amount of time. Revel in the concern for your wellbeing that your classmates feel. 
6. Let the overwhelming feeling of alarm and shame flood over you as you realize just how much time you have wasted and finally begin your paper. Savor the hot tears of frustration and self loathing as they pour down your cheeks. 
7. Hastily examine the paper for the first and last time as you submit it. 

This writing process is the most successful way to make the easiest assignment unbearably unpleasant and time consuming. My time-tested technique is the best way to waste your own time and achieve a unique form of self-inflicted mental agony.


My reflection:
I visited and commented on  http://adutcher109h.blogspot.com/2015/08/my-writing-process.html?showComment=1440820686588#c677315822074535782 and http://deweydecimatrix.blogspot.com/2015/08/my-writing-process.html?showComment=1440877845593#c7527127658076578419 . I really enjoyed reading about my classmate's writing processes even though it made me feel even worse about my horrible procrastination habit when I would see how many posts they had compared to mine. I realized that I don't procrastinate because I dislike writing (I actually really enjoy it). I procrastinate because I have a perfectionistic attitude and I overthink my every move. I'm definitely going to work on just relaxing and working in a timely manner so that I can have time to edit my work. I want to be able to revise and feel more confident about what I submit.